I lot has happened over the last year. I learned, I grew, I broke a rule or two, and became a mother. I have known this day was coming for the last 12 months. It was a day I had mixed emotions about even all those months ago; I would waver from excitement, to trepidation, to downright sadness all in the matter of minutes. And all along the way everybody warns you just how quickly time goes.
Everybody warns you that you only have an infant for a matter of weeks. Everybody warns you to take hundreds of pictures. Everybody warns you to imprint that perfect, newborn smell. Everybody warns you to rock your baby to sleep when they need it. Everybody warns to you spoil your little one with all the cuddles in the world. Everybody warns you to live in the moment, to embrace it all, and to love it all.
And that’s exactly what I did.
While I am not trying to say the past year has been a walk in the park; being a mom is the hardest and the best job in the world. There were days filled with challenges and moments where I questioned my every move. There were days that I was so exhausted I didn’t know how I was going to make it until Matt got home. Everybody warns you there will be hard days.
However, I have embraced it all. Treasured it all. I wouldn’t trade one thing, one rough moment, one hard day, one exhausted hour from the last year.
While everybody warns you of the immense love you will feel, you cannot really understand what they mean until you are standing in the shoes of motherhood.
During this past year of motherhood, I have learned how to love more completely. My life was suddenly filled with a purpose that I didn’t even know was missing. My life was filled with a love for things I didn’t even know existed… like the perfect weight of a baby asleep on your chest. Or the way your heart melts when they hold your finger for the first time or intentionally smile at you. Those initial coos, which turn into babbles, which turn into words. They are the true music to your soul.
Everybody warns you of the overwhelming, life changing, unconditional love you will feel for your child.
That first, no ALL of those, open mouth slobbery kisses. I can NOT get enough of those slobbery kisses. Watching your baby hold up their head, then roll over, sit up, crawl, and walk. Every milestone is sweeter than you could have ever imagined. You are cheering and laughing and crying as you beam with pride. When your baby looks at you, and you just know they love you even though they cannot say the words.
During my first year of motherhood, I have cried and laughed more than I could have every imagined. I have been more exhausted and functioned on such little sleep, that I truly amazed myself with what I could actually accomplish.
There have been times where I was confused and I questioned every decision I made. There were times I trusted my gut, and other times I had to poll every single person I knew. I read books, I turned to Google, I asked for help from those who love me most.
I’ve kissed boo-boos. I’ve survived two colds, one virus, two nasty rounds of a tummybug. 8 teeth were cut between the two boys, more shots were given than I care to remember. We survived growth spurts, and cluster feedings. I’ve patted bottoms, rubbed backs, and sang Jingle Bells at least 2,000 times to help two precious babies fall asleep.
I’ve read hundred of books. I’ve sang songs and danced. I’ve been a one woman circus providing love and entertainment; giving my boys the opportunity to explore and learn and grow.
I’ve nursed, fed, and nurtured two hungry, hungry
hippos babies. I’ve learned the importance of embracing a mess, and allowing the housework to wait. I’ve learned to be a careless mother when it comes to all the extra.
Everybody warns you how quickly this year will go and I knew it would fly by.
So I watched, and listened, and soaked it all in. I wrote in baby books, I took pictures, I shared funny anecdotes on social media and flooded everyone’s accounts with hundreds of pictures of my babies. I savored every second of the last year.
Every second. The good, the bad, the ugly; I promise they were all savored. Every diaper changed. Every bottle washed. Every load of laundry cleaned. Every first. Every last. Every moment. It was all savored.
Everybody warns you to enjoy the moment. I have, I truly have.
Becoming a mother is without a doubt the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Becoming a mother has allowed me to become who I am supposed to be.
So today we celebrate all of this! We celebrate the joys, and the heartache. The laughter and the tears. We celebrate every decision made and everything we have discovered along the way. We celebrate living in the moment and embracing the mess. We celebrate dirty dishes in the sink and toys all over the floor. We celebrate the growth of me as a mom, and the growth of my babies into big boys.
Today we celebrate!